365 days

it's been 365 days since you drove away
365 days since i saw you smile
365 days since the goodbye that ended without any good left....

i'm glad your gone.
one less story to hear.
one less friend to turn.
one less goodbye i had to make.


but my heart still fights to hear your voice
it wont accept your goodbye and it keeps me chained with lightning storms and wooden benches

it remembers you
it remembers your family
it remembers your steady words
it remembers being heard
it remembers being cared for



dear heart,

forget it! shut up and let go! 


he's not coming back to keep his promises.
it doesn't matter if he's the only one who cared
it doesn't matter how he smiled or how he made you laugh, because in the end, it was only a joke.
he's never coming back




it doesn't matter anymore.
he forgot your name months ago.

and don't keep blaming yourself.
you know he left for himself

he never really cared

you didn't need to care, or worry, or wonder.
he left
it was him
i promise it was him

he thought you were beautiful
but we both know he only saw your temporary beauty


it was all just a game for him
a dare from the back corner table.

i'm sorry i was naive enough to let you trust him


~AA



i wish i forgot your name like you did, mine

i wish my memory didn't hold 365 days of wishing for a single reply


i found your texts the other day
and the picture you wanted to see

and i wrote about you, but i saved it in my drafts

because i don't think you would have read it anyway,
because i don't believe you care



but i do.
so this is for me
to forgetting your fiery crimson hair and your iced sapphire eyes drawing poison from your heart
to erasing an innocent little sister and a rebellious older brother and the pain i could see in your smile
to always seeing that park bench that holds our secrets in its grain as i drive by
to the best disney movies and for the rain and the rocketship
to the light in my eyes and the phone calls home
for that last night
when i saw you drive away with flashing red and blue lights

and to you..


i hope you're happy
i hope you make others smile and bring them the laughter you gave me
i hope you teach them hope, and about god-because the way you know him makes it easy to believe
i hope you have the grandest adventures and that you never lose your love for jukebox hero
i'm sorry for the late night texts
and for wanting to fix things
i wish you the best




and if you could
answer me this

did you ever really hear me?

~JQP