meet me in the constellations

you've been collecting dust on the shelf next to my bed and i'm so accustomed to seeing you there that i almost forgot my addiction to your messy, hand-written pages

life has caught me at red lights and back roads and i avoid freeways at all costs because it reminds me of painted sunsets and how pens only ever hovered above our pages; never finishing anticipated sentences

i picked up a paint brush the other day and i started to paint the galaxies but it wasn't the same without your hand directing mine

and my fingertips were anxious so i put down the paint brush and dipped my hands in blue

i grazed the canvas and painted your eyes, it didn't quite feel right until i started to paint mine along side them

i painted crimson galaxies; misting the stars that danced on my eyelashes, tracing gold on the tops of our eyelids 

dreaming a lilac haze that covered the bags under your eyes and silver lights that drown out reality as the moon sent its beacon through your gaze

but darling you weren't looking at me

i let the stars set their constellations in the gloss of my eyes and i dreamt up a universe where your heart was only a distant moon on the horizon 

there were endless mountains and infinite dirt trails

and i fell in love with waterfalls and my mud covered face because nature stole my sight and tangled its vines in my veins 

i woke up with the planets above my head and your heartbeat in my ear, and dear i wish it were a surprise but i knew you'd be here

i climbed out of my blanket and your sleeping arms and i grabbed that book on the shelf next to my bed

i dusted off the cover and sat underneath the starlit window opening the curtain to the past

i drank up the words, consuming page after page, reminiscing in night air and dried tears

dropping the book 

lying on the floor, open to illegible ink stains and unforgettable memories 

scenes playing out in front of me as i leaned up against the wall with the wind blowing the pages past breaking points and nights by your side

and dear, your still lying on the couch with closed eyes

naive

unaware

dreaming of light dancing on ocean waves that drown out any memory of me

darling, when you wake up; your shoes are by the door, your keys are in the ignition, 50 dollars in the console and a map to your dreams inside the book on the passenger seat

and tho its hard to read, i know you'll remember my painting and realize just where it leads

don't forget the hazel eyes that linger in the mountains, i hope i always meet your gaze staring out at sea

meet me in the constellations, love, i'll see you in my dreams 

~JQP