thanks for that

i've wanted to isolate myself since 2nd period today
but to be honest i basically cried in 1st
i keep looking back to when we were happy
to when the heat was our only complaint
and the cold was a reminder of warmth
the times when we stayed up all night with the lightning
when we told each other everything and anything

 ....or at least i thought we did

those were the days when we made a pact

that we would be neighbors and always be there for each other

that we would have nice yards and big houses

that we'd always be friends..

..so much for promises

i've told you my fears and you know so much

or at least you would if you had just listened.

i know you inside and out

when you're happy, sad, angry..

when you're lying

.....sometimes i wish i didn't

it was so easy before when i was blind

when i knew that there were things you hadn't told me

but now that you swear i know it all

i've realized half the puzzle pieces are missing

i remember the days when all we did was ask each other questions

when drama was trivial and tears, minimal

i remember the days that we'd take turns echoing "i love you, sweet dreams"

now the space between us allows me to say it

but the empty air never provides the echo to my vulnerability

it hurt when the text to your abusive ex was an "i love you"

and he text to your best friend was  a "bye."

you've dropped your end of the rope on every promise we made

and have left me dragging them all alone

promises are pointless when they become one sided..

you tell me that life is too hard and i know it is

but you won't even attempt to fix it

..you won't let anyone try to fix it

I've found I lose something every time we talk:thank

interest

motivation

self worth

advise

understanding

Me.

        I hate this. I want to cry but I'm out of tears

      I want to leave but I'm full of fears

    I want to hate but I love you..

  I want to be me but you took that too

you don't care

you don't help

you make me cry

you only help yourself

Thanks for spending 2 years lying

Just to kill me in one day.

I know this is fast and I love you, but I'm sorry.. I'm too far gone to come back....

goodbye old friend

Sincerely~ me

~JQP