I remember why I forgot

I remember feeling on top of the world, because our soccer team was undefeated and you were my best friend.
I remember being the odd one because i was the only Mormon in kindergarten.
I remember Scott and me getting baptized on the same day and how Jillian didn't show up.... I'm not quite sure what ever happened to her..
I remember my best friend leaving me for the cool kids..
I remember my new best friend that still grows in my old backyard beside the pale blue shed that grandpa built when he still remembered my name.
I can't remember when you told me we had to move, but I remember the lies you told me about why..


I remember the purple journal with the cartoons on the front, it was the first time i actually wrote down the poetry in my head. I was 8.
I remember we moved in April, and mom giving us both Easter bunnies. mine was pink. I named it bunny.
I remember hiding behind my mommy's leg when we met.
I remember the endless summer days of playing with bobble heads in the dirt.
I remember the heat and my first concussion and you telling me to man up.


I remember 5th grade and having the biggest crush on Mika Kujanpaa.
I remember playing night games and sitting on the tramp.
I remember his face going bright red and the sound of his voice being higher than mine.
I remember being so embarrassed that I stopped talking in class.
I remember the best climbing tree on the bank of the river
I remember slowly forgetting you in it's branches when you moved away to Arizona.
I remember hiding from the bullies in the bushes.
I remember that they left us alone because we gave them army men.


I remember 7th grade and Sophie Turner introducing me to the word 'creeper' in English.
I remember getting away with never turning in my final project and getting an A in Mr. Brooks class and feeling bad for it all summer.
I remember the first time I wore mascara and you asking about it and me lying and saying I wasn't wearing any makeup. 


I remember my 8th grade crush on the unsuspecting 9th grader.
I remember him being my first date sophomore year and dancing till our feet went numb.
I remember the suit he wore and how his lips felt on my cheek. On my forehead. On my hair.
I remember how proud he was of the songs he'd play on piano and how we talked in British accents all night.
I remember being his friend.. I should really write him..
I remember 42 and how beautiful she was. How she made me hate the nicest boy in the school.
I remember how she went to Lehi and me and that boy became best friends.
I remember wishing on the same star every night for the boy from Orem to just remember my name..
I remember crying until i couldn't breathe and calling up my best friend because I wasn't sure what else I could do..

I remember 2013 for being the year I still wish never happened.
I remember the beginnings of me and how I wasn't sure who I was and then how I knew exactly who I was and now when I just wish I knew who I wanted to be.

I remember why I forgot.

~JQP