Not forgotten

I know I'm not forgotten
But that doesn't change the way I feel
My shoulders tremble as tears stream down my cheeks
I know I'm not forgotten
But that won't change the the ache inside my chest when it lurches forward--remembering that I have to move on, even as my heart cries it won't trust anyone again
I know I'm not forgotten
But that doesn't change the fact that I will always cry alone
By choice, not by lack of reaching hands..
I know you want to help, but I can't find the courage to be that vulnerable--
It's hard to let people in
I know I'm not forgotten
But that doesn't resolve the last of the goodbyes
Or the laters that come too late
And I'm sorry..
I can let go of grudges, but people aren't as easy to lose
I know I'm not forgotten
But that doesn't change the fact that I struggle every day
To feel I'm still important to someone
To convince myself that someone could love me unconditionally
To remember that there are people who already do

It's not easy to believe it,
Even though
I know I'm not forgotten..

But for those that stick around
For the ones who know my poisoned mind can't see them there
For the people who haven't given up on me still

Thank you for proving it true

I know I'm not forgotten, and sometimes I believe it

Mostly because of you.

~JQP