Why the stars

There's something in the light of the stars
It witnessed my first wishes for friends
For hope for my brother
For someone to fall in love with me
It sees so many kisses
So many heartbreaks
Hears all the truths and all the lies
It sees me wish and wish and start to pray
And beg and beg and cry saying "I can't do it;
I cannot hold out much longer.."
But the light of the stars still shines on me
As if to remind me "look around at where you are, dear"
It takes me back to 5th grade crushes and junior year heartbreaks
It takes me to my first kiss and how fresh water tasted on my lips
It takes me to the first goodbye to Gilbert, and the first time I believed my heart could come out to say hi again
It takes me to hot springs under the stars in Heber with a boy named Carson
And the hours of conversation with Matt, a boy I barely met
It brings me back to opening my heart to Brad, and every goodbye I had with each of them
But it doesn't let me stop there
Because there's something about the light in the stars, it tells me that they've been shining and falling to show me there is beauty growing inside me from the preasure and the pain and as I grow,
Eventually I will fall and it will be long and hard,
And they'll fall with me just to show me that he's falling for me too.
And that promise lulls me off to sleep once more

Because there's something about the light in the stars, I trust it
And I don't really understand why
But it helps.

This poem honestly kinda sucks, but it's exactly how I feel. And I needed to know that for myself.
So thanks for sticking it out with me

~AA