for the poet

you know I promised myself I would never fall for a guy who played football
I guess I have to say I don't always keep my promises now

it was dark and loud and exhaustion was surely the cause
but you opened up to me so easily
you told me there was something about me
that just lead you to trust me

and I'm pretty sure I told you I probably wouldn't do the same.

yet now you hold my diary in the palms of your hands
and I don't think I'll tear it out of them this time (sorry for the first time, the truth sometimes terrifies me)

I know I dont know the details
But I know the plot line
And your story has me hooked
You grew up in a world that I've never lived
Only seen
Never known
Only studied
And I wanna know
I want to feel how you put the sparks in your eyes
I want to climb to where you discovered dry hands and midnights scars
Can you show me the day that God put that crooked smile on your face
And the eyes that first made yours fall in love
Tell me of the nights when time escaped your mind and nothing mattered except that the stars lasted all year round and you never had to let go
Draw your constellations on my ceiling so my dreaming finds them too
Tell me everything
Tell me anything
But only if you want to

I see your eyes and they see a different universe
One where blue eyes and gold hair dance in the sunlight
One with soprano melodies and clumsy smiles and playful laughter
I can tell that she's all that you see
And I don't blame you
She's radiant, intelligent and kind
Courageous and confident
And I don't want anything less for you
So I've stayed silent
But not silent enough

You saw my words as they crept out of the chambers of my heart
You were worried
But you were kind
You held me tighter and gave me reason to hold on
But why do you still stand so close?
Why did I find my head on your shoulder and your breath too completely familiar by my ear

I'm trying to piece this puzzle together but it seems the pieces you've given me are from a completely different picture
You like her.
Not me.
Right..? 
Of course right.
You told me so yourself.
So I mean I don't mind the proximity
But the meaning had me confused--
I'm on an unmarked trail and there're a couple miles to the peak
But something tells me that when I get there, neither side of this mountain will show me the view I long to see

I have a feeling that view remains back at the trail head
Where I was too excited to take my time
Take a breath
And see what you really meant

You lost me when you gave me three words
And it's a long hike down
But it's downhill
And worth it or not
I want to understand.



~AA