Can I lay by your side

I don't know what time it was
all I remember is the all too familiar pit in my stomach
the flutter of my heart before it disappeared completely

you know
I learned something today
the only thing I'm actually good at
is being nice

that's it

I'm not good at acting, singing, dancing, writing

but hey
I'm good at being nice
so that's always good

too bad I'm no good at being nice to myself

I just need to get away.

I look up to the grey sky
she seems nice enough
her light doesn't hurt my eyes
and she doesn't show off
she has the most wonderful talent
she can rain.
and when she rains, well
people look away
they go inside
they don't like to sit out while the grey sky cries
but I do
I dance in her tears and rejoice in my own
and drenched in the pain
I find release

standing in wet grass
barefoot with freedom
splashing in puddles and breathing in the softest tears

I see stone after stone
name after name
a tin plaque
flowers that passed on
all dressed in tears

fitting

I'm planted in this field of fears and I'm growing tall
thriving in this storm

the grey sky cries with me
and I don't feel like dancing anymore

I don't know what time it was
all I remember is the all too familiar pit in my stomach
..that's my heart on the ground
its six feet above yours but its sinking down fast
and darling I've walked away so many times

but can I just stay here?

the ground is cool under my back
and the grey sky doesn't want to cry anymore
but I'm wet
and I'm cold
and I'm here

and my heart is with you
..take care of it for me?


please don't send it back
I don't want to feel anymore
its easier to pretend this way

hurt is too real in this world and I don't want pain as my closest friend anymore

the sky has cleared but my roots are too deep to remove
I still see the loose soil and maybe
just maybe
there's a way I could be with you just a little longer
feel you there just one more time

can I lay by your side?

just one more time?..

~JQP