Don't Forget to Aim for the Kill

There’s a lock on this cage inside my chest and there's only one key

And I know I didn't give it to you.

I should've known you didn't need one

You came as a thief dressed as an apathetic teenager

And I know my judgment isn't harsh, but I should have seen the mischief in your eyes

You took me gently in your arms and unlocked my secrets in a single breath

You had my heart in your gaze but the cage inside my chest was smart enough to stay locked

Yet its prisoner never let me feel anything else

Once you had my secrets balanced on your tongue you took bolt cutters to my prison and swung the door open

But instead of taking my heart

You just admired it

The accelerated beating

The wounds that you inflicted

And you left it there

Door a jar

Never looking back

Because you knew the door was broken and if you wanted to come back

I’d have to let you in

And darling, it’s been quite a while but you came back

And this time you took what you claim I gave you

You tied it on a string and hung it from the highest branch of the tree that outgrew our initials

Without that beat

I've forgotten the rhythm of this song I sing

The thirds and fifths have lost their place, and the music I play has decrescendo to a silence not even the crickets could fill

And I’m sorry I’m talking in music but harmonies are the only things that get me feeling anymore.

I sit in the shade that our names provide and looking up- I don't think i miss us

I just miss everything else

I miss rides up the canyon and singing our hearts out

I miss sharing everything- even our sick days

I miss our homework parties

I miss no secrets

And I miss the way your hand fit in mine

But honey, I've stopped missing you.

Because the ‘you’ I know was only an instance in which you claimed to be pretending.

The one I loved, loved me

But at this point I know you just like I wanted to more than I wanted

Because darling, you majored in drama and minored in the seven deadly sins

You speak in fluent lies and the only genuine word you utter is goodbye.

And lately you've slipped the 'good' off your tongue and have dismissed yourself without declaring a word

Thinking I wouldn't notice that you left

Figuring I wouldn't care if you returned

Let me just say that there are definitely times I wish I didn't-

But the only one who can even begin to bring my heart down from that tree

Is you

And until then- while you're gone

Please. Continue in showing that you've moved on.

And don't forget to aim for the kill

Because there's still a hollow in my chest waiting to be filled

And your daggers have always fit so nicely.

~AA