holding on to things only breaks your heart

When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change..


Page 154

I miss you already.. And I've been missing you for a long time


Hey now, hey now. this is what dreams are made of.


Page 160

When I wrote the word goodbye to you something died inside of me, I miss you already


To all those kids who didn't smile back in the hallways


Page 145

I don't think we ever met in person, but I saw you in Paris and haven't been the same since, I miss you already


But, mother, I don't want to grow up.


Page 159

I would do anything to take away the depression, I would rather suffer a million deaths alone than live without your smile, I miss you already


Calc is hard.


Page 161 

I don't know what it was about you this year, but you gave me more confidence in my writing than I thought possible. You're beautiful inside and out, I miss you already


Im a firm believer in impulsive decisions and crashing parties.


Page 166

I look up to you a lot, and I wish you knew it sooner, I miss you already


When I die I would like the people who did group projects with me to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.


Page 169

You have my heart taped beneath the pages of your writing journal, your pens ink flowing in my blood, and I know tape is temporary, but I'm leaving it there, I miss you already


If people remember me for one thing, I want it to be that I was me and no one else.


Page 169

Interesting and always true to yourself you made me feel like I wasn't alone even if we never talked, I miss you already


Dreams are only dreams until you wake up and make them real


Page 170

You've got a friend in me, and I'll never forget you, I miss you already


Give everything but up


Page 169

Im glad you remember me, and thanks, I miss you already


You are going to change the world. Thanks for making an impact on me.


Page 157

I don't believe I ever gave you a hug, but I need to. I miss you already


Holding on to things only breaks your heart.


Page 166

I wish I could hold on forever, and I'm sorry for scaring you, I miss you already



Im trying to cut the ties but I'm bound in heart strings and cheap tape
And maybe you'll all forget me but know this

You changed my life. You kept me alive. Your soul is a brother to the universe.


And listen

I don't know what high school was, but it wasn't hell, and it was no paradise. It wasn't first kisses and first crushes.. sometimes I believe it was just classrooms and lunch periods but it wasn't that either. im looking back at heart aches and long days and stupid teachers with busy work. Im looking at plastered smiles and passed notes and people who never understood what the word depression ever meant to me.

Maybe high school has a true meaning and definition but to me high school wasn't just kids and teachers or passing familiar faces in the hall. High school was finding myself and seeing the story beneath their skin. It was seeing through transparent popularity and facing nights alone with walls bearing
 down.

I hope you know you meant something to me. And I want to thank you for it. Maybe one day I'll finally cut the last tie and let high school go like any normal teenager should-but for now, im holding on tight.

Holding on to things only breaks your heart




Oh well


~AA