Sunday, May 3, 2015

it will soon seem effortless

The days last years without a hand to hold onto
The pain doesn't end
I should be okay.. Why am I not okay?..
It's okay not to be okay
There are no words I could use
There is nothing I have felt
To amount to the pain
To amount to the longing
It's okay not to be okay

There's a girl I know
She lost her peace
Her future
Her everything
She lost him
It's been two years now
She holds a fragile peace of mind that cannot stand on its own
She wakes up every morning to the nightmare she must accept as reality

Two years and her heart still drops when she steps out of bed
Two years and she questions still how she'll ever be okay
It's okay not to be okay

There are moments of joy
Followed by moments of pain
Always accompanying each other
Hand in hand they take you through this life

Nostalgia takes each breath wherever you go
You see shadows of the past and feel the light slipping away
Everyone's around to listen but there are no words to say
Opening up to anyone else seems impossible
So tears are all you speak

You smile to chase the worry away
But no convincing could change the emptiness in your chest
The hollow in your throat
The shaking on your fingers

It's okay not to be okay

Time will heal
But don't count the minutes
Breathing is hard
But it's worth the results
Moving forward doesn't mean moving on just yet

There are always arms to hold you
Hearts to listen
And friends who will stay by your side
No matter the pain
No matter the darkness
There's no hurry to stand up
Just keep breathing

Shoulds don't control you
And hands exist to hold you
Pain tries to overthrow you
But darling, I know you

Your strong enough to hold on tight
This ride is full of high ups and low downs
Just remember when you hit rock bottom
The foundation I see beneath you
Will lift you up again.

I believe in you
It's okay not to be okay
One day the air will be thicker
It will soon seem effortless
To breathe again

~AA



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