'TILL DEATH DO WE PART

"Mawwiage is what brings us

Together today"

I still believe in it
Love I mean

I still have faith
That a man and a woman
Can and will stay faithful
That looking into someones eyes
Can make one lose themselves
For hours and hours
And hours

I still believe in gentlemen
That respect is still alive
That opening a door and pulling out a chair
Isn't extinct

I still believe in courage
Courage to ask her on a date
Courage to take his hand
Courage to close the space between your lips and mine


I still believe in butterflies
The ones that died within me when he left
The ones that broke out of their cocoon
When you walked into the room
The ones that want to fly away
When my heart beats faster than their wings
When you brush my skin
When you smile at me

I still believe in friendship
That my best friend is someone I can trust
That a best friend is the one to marry
That best friends really do last forever

I still believe in promises
That one day HE will make me one
And more than that
That HE will keep it
That he will place the ring on my finger
And tell me he'll love ME
Forever and Always

And even if the preacher and the people say
'TILL DEATH DO YOU PART
I know that when we pass on
And our souls are just breezes over the sea
That we will find each other 
And it will feel familiar
And you'll ask me to dance
And you'll spin me around
Because death could't part us
Because not even mother nature could stop our storm

~JQP

when did blogs become so addictive?

I'm very very very very very very behind in my personal scripture study. And I love reading my scriptures (yeah I know that's weird but I don't care). Yet I've found myself everyday checking the blogs to see if Hancock posted early or if Charli Davis has anything funny or if Navy Skye did any extra posts.... I literally read too many blogs. And I know I should make a list of the blogs I follow... I just feel like it would be overwhelming for me to look at...

Seriously. Your blog it's my drug. Please don't make me quit by not supplying it after this class is over......

But I guess that would be good for me.

When did blogs become so addicting?



~JQP

I'm afraid of big cities.
I'm afraid of jelly fish.
I'm afraid of blood stains.
I'm afraid of cool kids.. I'm afraid to be one of them.
I'm afraid of not being early to practice.
I'm afraid of classes without seating charts.
I'm afraid one day I'll go deaf.
I'm afraid of finishing. Anything.
I'm afraid of breaking down in front of my brother when he cusses me out.
I'm afraid of cussing back.
I'm afraid of money.
I'm afraid that I'll never get a first kiss, because mono came first.
I'm afraid of the bottom of cliffs.
I'm afraid that my best friends will leave the church.
I'm afraid that the bishop judged me after I left my heart on his desk.
I'm afraid of living alone.
I'm afraid he's doing more than just smoking.
I'm afraid of the video games he plays.
I'm afraid of cheaters.
I'm afraid that my parents trust me too much.
I'm afraid of my aunt who looks like a boy.
I'm afraid that my grandma looks down from heaven, ashamed.
I'm afraid of tåttôø ärtīsts.
I'm afraid of hobos.
I'm afraid of what the sticky notes in my journal might say.
I'm afraid of new people.
I'm afraid of height. (Not heights, height)
I'm afraid to call a three digit number.
I'm afraid that when I call a long number with my little sister the aliens will actually answer.
I'm afraid to sleep without something to hold on to.
I'm afraid of mirrors that tell me the truth.
I'm afraid of asking my mom for help with my acne.
I'm afraid of going anywhere without wearing foundation.
I'm afraid of the ones I trust.
I'm afraid of dresses that show my back.
I'm afraid of boys that like me. Even though that doesn't happen.
I'm afraid that best friend's right.
I'm afraid that I'm too loud.
I'm afraid that I'm annoying.
I'm afraid that this post got too serious too fast.
I'm afraid that I've dug so many holes that it's created an inescapable maze.
I'm afraid of the day you figure out these are my fears.
I'm afraid of how much I care.
I'm afraid of those I think most of thinking least of me.

And I'm sick of being afraid.

But I'm afraid that I don't know how not to be afraid.

~JQP

you wont even notice that i'm gone

Play and read

(Irrelevant by Lauren Aquilina)

To him.
You've always told me how I saved your life. We met and exchanged numbers, but what I didn't know is that you had severe depression. And your deadline was in 7 days.. you have no idea how happy I was to know I gave you the gift of  procrastination.

We were best friends and you told me everything. We loved each other in an inescapable way. Basically family. And that's why I wasn't allowed to love you differently. But I have bad habits, so I loved differently anyway.

My best friend came into the picture and it seems the 'best friends brother' thing really intrigued her. And again, I have bad habits, so I told her she could have you. And you loved her. That hurt. Bad habits really do die hard.

You broke her heart, but her leaving broke you. Literally. You became as monotone as Mr. Hinton. Or rather, more so. And you never show any emotion anymore. I tell you I'm here for you. I promised I won't leave. I love you. And all I get is an 'I know'..

I won't leave.     I know
I love you.          I know
I promise.          I know
I won't leave..
....I love you..
.. are you even there? I feel as though I'm talking to a computer.. Please, what's wrong? Just talk to me.. do you even care..?...
Please come back

... please..

You're hardly around anymore, the only emotion I get from you is when you talk of your unrequited love for her. The rest of the conversation only consists of one-word replies. You only have questions when they're about her. And all the answers to my questions circle my numbing body in 'I don't know's.. 

I'm sitting here wishing you would come back. I'd do anything to make you feel something, even if you hate me by the end.. It would be better than nothing....

"If I were dying, would you do everything or even anything to save me, or would you just cry because I was dying?"

"I don't know"

Do you even care anymore? There was a time when you pledged your life in place of mine. Now you don't even know?

I think the worst thing about this is you mean the world to me. I'd give my life just for you to live again. I crave your smile more than Nutella. I think about you every night, worrying about you, laughing at the memories through the frantic tears. And I still want you, you who no longer wants me..

They all tell me to let you go. And we both know I should. It would be best for me to turn away, run, and never look back.... 

And it hurts, because we both know

You won't even notice that I'm gone.

~JQP

songs I hear playing

I'm losing love, losing you, losing everything
Losing faith in the world where I wanna be
So I don't care if the one thing that's killing me
Is so wrong, so wrong
I should walk away
I look at you and
I get the feeling 
I think that I should hold on, hold on

Lead her to a place
Guide her with your grace
To a place where she'll be safe

I'm feeling further, feeling further from you every day
You're in the stars, in the stars, yeah, you're worlds away
I'm moving on, moving on, then I hear you say
Hold on, hold on

I think you can do much better than me 

She says I should break the chains
The ones that you have locked on me
I’m starting to believe her
How can you still wonder

Every day is so wonderful
Then suddenly it's hard to breathe.
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed.

Feeling my hands start shaking
Hearing your voice I'm overjoyed
I'm sorry but i have no choice
You're only getting better
Maybe you have your reasons
Maybe you're scared you'll be let down
Are you crying when there's no one around

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else
Gets me frustrated

It may seem cliche
For me to wanna say that your not alone
And you can call me uncool
But it's a simple fact i got your back

To all your friends you're delirious,
So consumed in all your doom.
Trying hard to fill the emptiness.
The pieces gone, left the puzzle undone.
is that the way it is?
You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down....
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
So don't you bring me down today...

but you're the harmony to every song I sing

And I wouldn't change

Wouldn't change a thing

SIGBO

~JQP

I hate this post.

I can’t wait to talk to you again. I have so much to tell you.

I wish you were here. If you saw the gloss on my eyes you'd embrace me, first glance.

I look forward to seeing you again. Then I'll be able to hear your laugh again.

I was thinking about you and it made me smile.  Especially since I saw the pictures you took of yourself on my phone and they made me laugh.



This makes me feel creepy.....I think that's why I hate this post..

I hope my presence isn't more irritating than my absence.

~JQP

how to make me cry

Ways you could get these eyes of mine to leak in emotion (cry)

• Put me in front of a Nicholas Sparks marathon
• Play the song 'amazed' by lonestar
• Remind me that I'm no longer queen
• Bear your testimony on eternal families on fast Sunday
• Tell me that I'm fake
• Make my dad cry
• Sincerely tell me why I'm a bad friend
• Explain to me that my compliment kept you alive
• Put me on stage
• Send me to brother Preice's class on a Tuesday after a long week
• Tell me I'm gorgeous, but first walk around in a hat and glasses and act like you own the place
• Leave.
• Get me reminiscing about my most fulfilling moments
• Make it impossible for me to help you
• Hug me for 78 seconds when I've put my guard up
• Tell me that I can't fulfill my dreams
• Take me to a funeral at my church building
• Make me sing 'I believe in Christ' in a choir with my sister
• Convey to me, in everything you do, that you love me
• Say it.

~JPQ

I tried

I tried not to think about you today
I thought about my mom and my best friend and even how I'm not ready for Wednesday
But that just lead me back to Monday
And class
And hearing your laugh



I tried not to let my eyes see you on Friday
But then you put your arm around me and it's as if we were alone somehow in the too-small-too-crowded hallway
I couldn't help but meet your gaze

I try not to dream about you
But your golden brown eyes are the Sandman's secret for getting me to rest



You told me you liked my faces
The ones I only use when I Snapchat my best friends
First off, I don't know what devil gave me incentive to show you then
But that hit me
Mostly because you didn't run screaming
But later, you still proclaimed I was beautiful



Can I tell you something?
You're the first person I've liked being around more than him
You mended my gaping memory with nobby knees
And somehow you unlocked my hidden box of trust
The one that he threw off the Golden Gate Bridge



I didn't want to write about you
Remember?
I didn't want to remember how the other girls are falling for you too
But hey, my heart does as it pleases
It's my brain I need to reprimand
I'll blame it for doing an awful job of not thinking about you..



Cause you see

I tried not to think about you today, but
Monday is still on my mind
And the Sandman has his sandbag
But it isn't full of sand, instead,
He's going to knock me out with your eyes and smile tonight.

~JQP

I'm Starting In My Roots.

       ---ClimedMYTREE---

    AndYoullKnow,CauseYoull've

   BecauseOneDay-IMGOINGTOBEME.

  seDifficultLikeItAndIWillBeHappy

 imeToActuallyFinishThisPostAndtho

owUpIWillBeTheKindOfPersonWhoTookTheT

meNeededToBeThePersonIWantToBeWhenIGr

 irExpectationsIWillGrowAndTakeTheTi

    veAndSetAStandardIWillExceedThe

    ngIAmGoingToBeDifferentIWillLi

        ImGoingToProveThemWro

            sIAmGonnaBe.

             sonWhoCare

             ity.APer

             itHumil

             SomeoneW

             nfidence

             onWithCo

            oIAmAPers

            ExactlyWh

            oingToKnow

            egentIAmG

            nkImIntell

           neDayYoullThi

         nceOnThoseILoveO

        I WillHaveAnInfl ue

      Goi ngTo  BeSt   rong

     Pro   ud    of     .I m

     S    ome   on    e   Im

   ToL    oo    k     up    To

  So      m      e    on      e

 I       W       il    lB      e

O       ne       D     a         y

~JQP