12|5|15

I always thought that funerals were tied up to retirement and old age
That desensitization would happen when we were all older and wiser and had a couple of grandkids on our lap
I always believed in hope and friends and kindness
And choosing to stay

But darling, the funerals have come early
And news comes almost routinely
We're only children, darling.
We're only children and we're dying..
I still believe in hope and friends and kindness
But its hard
And sometimes choosing to stay is at the end of our list of "to do" 

I'm so sorry, tori. I wish I could have eased the pain. I hope you have found rest in heaven. I hope you know I still love you..

~aa

Fine print

Your heart beats gold in a sea of blue
With fine print inked throughout every vein;
There are contradictions in your mind but assurity pumping in your heart, everything flowing as if planned from the start

May pain escape expression
But draw bruises and scars from 2pt font streaming from black ink pens
Maybe looking like you have everything planned out
But home and heart working harder to try and steady the beats

I can't figure you out you know
Always with a friend by your side but eyes somewhat hollow
A smile on your lips and laughter will shortly follow
But when you sat down with a pen in hand
It was a different world before you'd look up
As if there was a world to escape above

Green words to gray words to white words, but always black ink on white pages
Perfect poetry, perfect boy

But I've found that if you read the fine print- there are imperfections
Cares and worries and broken hearts
Deeper than the hollow eyes and more firm than  his hard set jaw
Strength
Steady breaths
Long nights, but new mornings

Hope is on the horizon
And I can see it growing in your eyes

You carry it in your stride

A living courage lining every bone
Because its hard to let go
And the cobblestone road is cracking with every step
But courage will take you home
Courage will take you home and light a path along the way
I know because I followed that light every single day

And I learn a little more every step I take, and maybe I'll never catch up
But I won't stop
The light is too beautiful to try and step away

Your light, Isaac

Its inside, and who you are, and who you're becoming

Its courage and tears and always moving forward

Thanks for letting me follow along

~aa

Empty

You took it and you never gave it back
You held it in your arms and let it show you the light it saw in your eyes
You danced with it and teased it and scared it half to death as if it were your own
And darling I don't know what changed

I saw you burry it in the yard and draw black circles around each imperfection as if to bruise its delicate surface
You whispered lies to penetrate its surface and then you let it drown in your backyard swimming pool

And now my chest is empty
My veins run dry
And all that I feel is the chlorine water running down my cheeks

~JQP

Fossil heart

Darling, to a city boy like you I'm nothing more than a fossil beneath city lights

disregarded
glossed over
hidden
inconspicuous
neglected
overlooked
passed by
pushed aside
secret
unconsidered
undiscovered
unheeded
unobserved
unobtrusive
unperceived
unrecognized
unremarked
unremembered
unrespected
unseen

Invisible.

You and I both know you never took the time to study the past beneath your feet

~my fossil heart

Almost

I almost told Mr Brooks that I should've failed his class in 8th grade because he gave me credit for something I didn't do

I almost sang the song I wrote for the baseball shortstop before he told me he was in love with Whitney Rovig

I almost didn't quit soccer because I though my family would think I'm a wuss

I almost told Brian Erickson that I've liked him since the 8th grade AND that I still do

I almost purposefully drove my car off the road at least 7 times my senior year

I almost visit your grave everyday

I almost kissed my best friends boyfriend when he leaned in and I was mad at her

I almost actually read some of the books I was assigned in all of my English classes

I almost told Ms G that she is overly prideful and completely childish

I almost resigned from my sisterhood and told them that they were never a real family

I almost wrote you a letter telling you that I couldn't forget you; that it hurt that you'd forgotten me

I almost wrote a blog post yesterday

I almost wrote you a song

I almost fell for you while I was awake

I almost let the confusion plant itself inside of me

I almost want to trust someone with everything that's wrong

I almost want to give up

I almost called you back to tell you I'm sorry

I almost opened your letter from last year saying that you were sorry

And I almost wish I hadn't let go

Almost.

~JQP

One year.

Darling I can feel the stillness in your breath
She saw your uneasy smile and mistook it for a long day.. she didn't know it was the smile of a dimming light
The glint of the sunset reflected off an angels hair and the last glimpse of blue sky was in your eyes
And dear I didn't want to look away

One year
One soul
One broken hope
Too many broken hearts
Too many long nights

We miss you. We are trying not to give up. We won't forget.

One year

You were never alone.
We love you
We will fight back
We will fight on
Depression will be beat.

One year, darling.

We miss you Hunter

Rest in peace

on se reverra bientôt

It was never a class

It was the reason I came to school most days

It was never a grade

It was my hold on reality because all I wanted was to let go

He was never just a teacher

He was the one man who let us be ourselves and feel good about it

And I wasn't there for the Eiffel tower

All I needed was the people

And maybe I didn't smoke or drink coffee

But I was still noticed, and that, I will never forget

I was looking at the commons tonight-- they weren't as daunting with the new cool kids. And I saw the MC on stage and it was like I was living in my memories

I'll always love your cobblestone streets

And I'll never regret choking on the endless clouds of angst

Nostalgia is still my favorite word.

xoxo,

Paris alumni, Jane Q Porter

P.S. I hope one day I'll fall for you again, paris

December 23rd, 2014

once there was a boy
who believed he could stain my eyes with inspiration and admiration
he painted my skies with acceptance and care and endless "i love you"s
telling me everyday how lucky he was to have someone like me in his life
someone exactly like him
he filled my days with teddy-bear-hugs and laughter
and his memory smelled like lemon trees and high school dance floors

once there was a boy
who believed that the only true genuinity was in consistency
he saw me for my weakest days and ordered a long list of apologies to my door when he decided that i was no longer worth the effort.
never exchanging more than a few words; always from his mind, never his heart.
he saw me as over-the-top and fake
his memory tasted like bitter salt tears and empty, cold night air

once there was a girl
who believed that people were kind and that three short words would never come insincere
and she met a boy
a boy who cherished her mind and her smiles until the forecast called for rain and she lost her hold on reality
she found herself at a wall with no grip and no way out
and he left her there
parting with clouds in his eyes that would never rain nor clear
and when she finally found her way back
the clouds left her disfigured and hardly even there

and darling, i could lay out his flaws on the table like a deck of cards
telling you just how each suit defined his beating heart
but it would all feel like a lie
and maybe its because the lingering stains in my eyes..

but i still see you as kind

love i know you aren't listening and that desperate apologies will never soften your heart
and dear you sent me your apologies but they were signed by the teacher with red pen grading marks, because we both know your guilt-ridden paper wasn't really for me
and i promise your words cut me deeper when penned in "sorry"s you'll never mean and "i love you"s borrowed from a lost memory

call me over dramatic.
never talk to me again.
my heart broke enough the first time-go
break it again.
know it wont change the fact that i still care
and tears still come--
all from my shattered, beating heart

sincerely,

      the girl who meant something to you

~JQP

letters in subconscious

dear mr. hazel eyes,

your fingertips on my side always made me shiver

but darling you should have told me that your hands were made of ice

summer came and every part of you melted away

claims you staked, promises you made

everything you said

puddled on the floor, seeping into my shoes

every step i take reminding me of you

my dear heartbroken painter,

desperation filled my lungs in hurried prayers

tears seeped down my cheeks because i knew you wouldn't stop there

"my paint brush is a razor. my canvas is my skin. my paint is my blood. a pretty picture."

dear god please take her pain, please make me suffer 

if i could change one thing about you love, it would be your vision

because if you could see what i see

you would realize that god filled your life with much more beautiful paintings.

for the boy that loved me first,

love, i miss your sparkling blue eyes

i never told you all that i wanted to say

that you changed my life

that the care and devotion you showed 

it made me who i am.

i'll never know why you cared even when i made you cry.

thank you for not giving up on me.

dear ms. disney,

you are a true diamond.

perfect at every point, transparent, unbreakable

your eyes shine and your smile is a light

and i wish you were here..

i guess i should have seen this coming

diamonds are precious and you've chosen to whom you will belong

but love, i miss you

but he is good. and i don't want to be the the silver between you and his fingers

my darling valentine,

i'm sorry i didn't keep contact

love, you are a tulip in a field of wild flowers

and you're pristine and perfect and completely sensible

but i was never looking for a tulip, and i'm sorry

please know you deserve much better than me

you'll always be a genius in my eyes

for the boy who grew a beard,

you caught me in between depression and a really bad day and i'm sorry i left you in the dark without even a night light

dear, we found each other on a path right before a fork, and not knowing you'd turn left I promised to stand by

but love, i was headed right, and I didn't get the chance to say goodbye..

hey brown eyes,

you really screwed me up you know

your eyelashes got tangled in my heartstrings and now i'm not sure i'll ever get them completely out

i have your words written in black ink and your bruises written with blue

and love, i'm not sure who broke the promises first

but I'm quite sure it was you.

to elder freckles and red hair,

i don't know why it was important that i know you

you give me anxiety and we don't even talk

you actually have me convinced that i bug you and that i shouldn't have believed a single word you said

and the problem is, is i just wish you would prove me wrong

for the girl who's heard me sob,

i think i broke my promise

again..

but love i didn't try to

dear I was doing my best but i felt so alone in the effort

i want to be there and trust and listen, but love i can't seem to find just how to do it

but i haven't given up yet, so hold tight spider monkey

for the little blonde girl,

dear, you have a roller coaster in your heart that goes through the motions without any passengers on board

i'm sorry you feel so alone

you told me that you're shutting down the ride and that someday you'll continue it again, but right now's just not a good time

it makes sense.

but don't give up just because he got inside your head.

another thing: tighten your scarf and put on your gloves, dear

its sweater season, and I don't need you getting sick too

and please, just one last thing for all of you,

i love you and you mean something to me. i'm sorry for the pain i've cause and the problems i can't solve. i truly believe in you and i know you'll do great things. thanks for being there for me. please don't forget me. and if nothing else; stay strong.

~JQP

i doubt you still read my blog

maybe the moon got into my head, but these past seven days have been filled with nothing but you

the glint of your hair in the light of gold fields

the sound of your sarcasm echoing in my own voice

the mocking of your laughter in my dreams, because we both know you told me not to trust you

and love, its been long enough that your smell is no longer on my jacket

and the draft i wrote you is near the bottom of my messages

you're like a song stuck in my head

i hear your name every once in awhile and like a stain on my heart it lingers

dear i accidentally left my foot in the door but i ignore any want to say hello

yet hello is still quivering on my lips

please say something
tell me to leave
tell me to forget you
and don't tell me you're sorry
because love, i know i'd believe it

tell me you actually cared and didn't just use me for my words
please say you didn't just use me because i loved you
if you can't.. please don't leave without saying goodbye

tell me in a text or better yet a snapchat

say you don't care, that life will go on smoothly with my absence

because, love, it already has

tell me you don't want to talk anymore

say you got bored whenever you'd look into my eyes

tell me goodbye and mutter "good riddens"

delete my number and block me on facebook

leave my secrets on your front lawn so you can forget my simple existence

make it singe my hair and cut my skin

but don't make it deep enough to scar

because darling your stain still remains on my heart and I don't need another reminder that you're running endless marathons through my mind

forget me like a poem you scribbled out in your book and write a new page without me

you were there and i was blind

but love, you're gone and i've lost my mind

stories I've heard have chased you out of my heart but my mind's left wondering where you are

how you are

whose you are

but i won't know and i won't ask

for i don't want you to see me wishing

i want you to forget me

forget me.

but I'm quite sure you already have.

~JQP 

and the world keeps spinning

hidden behind walls of broken hearts and timid hellos
bruises and scars replacing the skin of my fragile chest
surrounded by stories of crippled promises and tired pulses
too many years of tangled hair and defective conversations

stuck wishing i never felt your touch
telling myself it couldn't've been you
it shouldn't have been you

fractured glass always made for a pretty picture but picking up each individual piece left me wondering why i never noticed how broken the windows of my heart had truly become
i have cuts from the sharpest lies and splinters from the parts of you i just cant forget
and looking in; everything is black and blue
remembering impulse syncing with your pulse turning to repulse just in time to watch me leave

wasting every 11:11 and shooting star on wishing for love when i should've been wishing that when it was all over, i could forget your name

flashbacks to when you told me he wasn't good for me
but everything you never told me
everything you thought i'd never know
looking in your eyes as unexplained answers flow from your mouth
all i see is him
the mirrors in his eyes
the bruises beyond his lips
the daggers in his tongue
the barricades in his ears and the magnets in his fingers

you have me frozen as your actions trace the fragile frame he left behind
one breath would be strong enough to blow me over
but dear, you left
and time numbs the pain
and i walked away

walls may keep me contained for a little while, but the windows are broken and i can taste the fresh air on my tongue
my skin is healing and everyday i take another step
refusing to look back

and don't bother offering another hello, love
i already said goodbye
and i closed the gate behind me.

~JQP

i like long titles and his poetry

he wasn't any sort of typical.

he was black balloons on a sunny day

and flowers in the winter

meeting him was like orange juice for dinner

but darling that didn't turn me away

surprised, i was when she said my name
under my collar felt like a flame
for the first time in a long time
someone saw this broken wolf as tame

maybe we weren't supposed to be friends and maybe we couldn't hold on

and maybe fate has unending red marks from face-palms and a head ache from yelling "wrong way"

but darling that didn't turn me away

like the grinch, my heart grew three sizes that day
her sweet voice was always there to sway disarray

talking to you was like fresh water on a hike

it was new and had my full attention

it was innocence and unopened doors

it was culture shock and an interested tourist

enticing and overwhelming

and completely unnecessary

seeing more than most, she knew just the tip of the iceberg
like a ghost; i was transparent to her

thinking you took my hand; you held my heart
trying to understand while in your arms

april 25, 2015
never did i tell her how she gleamed

jumping off cliffs never seemed this easy
but darling the bottom was just teasing

maybe you didn't catch me, but i never hit the ground
i don't know where i landed
but the fall is over now

radiant, warm, absolutely lovely
it must have been a dream

looking up i see your eyes and miss the sensation of butterflies and, love, it isn't a disguise

aa 
dtg

what used to be gravity now feels like a string attached to my heart
it doesn't bother me, but the feeling has my thoughts
i don't know where i am or where we left off
but darling, it wasn't a dream, and we aren't completely lost

JQP

Headaches and heartstrings

movies

                         books

 parks

    cars

school hall ways                   

                                         kitchens

doorsteps

dance floors

beaches 

                look out points

pictures                        

    poems

streets            

rainy days

theaters                                                        

my world is your stage and i'm sick of your spot light

i take it back

i'm sick of you

you've snuggled up in every nook in my mind

all you have to do is whisper

and i get chills

my stomachs twisting when i see you in the street

my eyes long to stare but i don't want you to see how badly i long for you

when you were untouchable life was much easier

but you've been so nearly mine that it's hard to resist the chase

i can feel your name on my lips

i can taste the freedom past the thickened air between us

but darling--

i cant take you

i won't take you

i'm scared that i'll do you no justice

i'm scared i'll be lost in your wake

that it's too late to even try now

that i should've taken you the first chance i got..

but i still want you

i still want you

you give me butterflies when you breathe in

you keep my mind racing all hours of the night

you have me forgetting what i'm doing

and remembering what we've done

dancing on bridges

wading in lakes

shooting but only ever hitting the rim

and dear you were almost mine..

but i won't take you

no

i won't make you

and now i can't have you.

maybe we'll try again in 18 thousand hours

but for now, please just leave the stage

i don't need to see you every time i open my eyes

i promise i'll still want you

but for now, adieu

JQP

365 days

it's been 365 days since you drove away
365 days since i saw you smile
365 days since the goodbye that ended without any good left....

i'm glad your gone.
one less story to hear.
one less friend to turn.
one less goodbye i had to make.


but my heart still fights to hear your voice
it wont accept your goodbye and it keeps me chained with lightning storms and wooden benches

it remembers you
it remembers your family
it remembers your steady words
it remembers being heard
it remembers being cared for



dear heart,

forget it! shut up and let go! 


he's not coming back to keep his promises.
it doesn't matter if he's the only one who cared
it doesn't matter how he smiled or how he made you laugh, because in the end, it was only a joke.
he's never coming back




it doesn't matter anymore.
he forgot your name months ago.

and don't keep blaming yourself.
you know he left for himself

he never really cared

you didn't need to care, or worry, or wonder.
he left
it was him
i promise it was him

he thought you were beautiful
but we both know he only saw your temporary beauty


it was all just a game for him
a dare from the back corner table.

i'm sorry i was naive enough to let you trust him


~AA



i wish i forgot your name like you did, mine

i wish my memory didn't hold 365 days of wishing for a single reply


i found your texts the other day
and the picture you wanted to see

and i wrote about you, but i saved it in my drafts

because i don't think you would have read it anyway,
because i don't believe you care



but i do.
so this is for me
to forgetting your fiery crimson hair and your iced sapphire eyes drawing poison from your heart
to erasing an innocent little sister and a rebellious older brother and the pain i could see in your smile
to always seeing that park bench that holds our secrets in its grain as i drive by
to the best disney movies and for the rain and the rocketship
to the light in my eyes and the phone calls home
for that last night
when i saw you drive away with flashing red and blue lights

and to you..


i hope you're happy
i hope you make others smile and bring them the laughter you gave me
i hope you teach them hope, and about god-because the way you know him makes it easy to believe
i hope you have the grandest adventures and that you never lose your love for jukebox hero
i'm sorry for the late night texts
and for wanting to fix things
i wish you the best




and if you could
answer me this

did you ever really hear me?

~JQP

culture shock

tracing cobblestone streets with worn out shoes at 2am

finding the perfect hot chocolate at a corner cafe

tasting pastries with the euros i don't have

a penniless poet

avoiding the Eiffel tower because tourists send pricks down my spine

Paris was never what we thought it could be

the city of love 

la Ville Lumière

croissants and luxury

terraces and park picnics

minds in the clouds as bodies walk off the plane

and the clouds are endless--everyone smokes here

i hope you're ready for lung cancer

so you came here to be a poet?

breathe in the smoke darling.

poetry is toxic and beautiful 

and get ready to choke--your words will never compete with theirs

its only your third day in, and you feel like they bribed the publisher

..favorites can be changed..

keep telling yourself that.

two weeks and you're always coughing

still trying to find a small apartment near your favorite cafe

looking for the Eiffel tower and forgetting why you came

tourists weren't meant to stay, love.

this city isn't for romancing your mind

so take a rain check for falling in love and check into the nearest motel

find the cheapest cafe and the smallest room in the city

maybe the street's crowded, but there's bound to be someone who saw your heart spilled out on these pages

its your fifth month here and you've made a friend or two

you still don't sleep well, but the moonlight was always your inspiration

you keep in touch with the waiters at your favorite cafe and they know your regular and your heart

avoiding the Eiffel tower because tourists send pricks down your spine

thinking back, still scared to know you were one

people move in and out of the complex but you've found a terrace house down the street from the cafe and don't really mind the constant changing of neighbors, only because you know who the real residents are now

neighborhood-known poet and in love with the city of fears you faced and mirrors replaced

a city of broken love

a city of new light

constant changes and nights of hunger--

a city that whispers hope into your steps

welcome to paris, darling.

welcome home.

the publisher

~JQP

meet me in the constellations

you've been collecting dust on the shelf next to my bed and i'm so accustomed to seeing you there that i almost forgot my addiction to your messy, hand-written pages

life has caught me at red lights and back roads and i avoid freeways at all costs because it reminds me of painted sunsets and how pens only ever hovered above our pages; never finishing anticipated sentences

i picked up a paint brush the other day and i started to paint the galaxies but it wasn't the same without your hand directing mine

and my fingertips were anxious so i put down the paint brush and dipped my hands in blue

i grazed the canvas and painted your eyes, it didn't quite feel right until i started to paint mine along side them

i painted crimson galaxies; misting the stars that danced on my eyelashes, tracing gold on the tops of our eyelids 

dreaming a lilac haze that covered the bags under your eyes and silver lights that drown out reality as the moon sent its beacon through your gaze

but darling you weren't looking at me

i let the stars set their constellations in the gloss of my eyes and i dreamt up a universe where your heart was only a distant moon on the horizon 

there were endless mountains and infinite dirt trails

and i fell in love with waterfalls and my mud covered face because nature stole my sight and tangled its vines in my veins 

i woke up with the planets above my head and your heartbeat in my ear, and dear i wish it were a surprise but i knew you'd be here

i climbed out of my blanket and your sleeping arms and i grabbed that book on the shelf next to my bed

i dusted off the cover and sat underneath the starlit window opening the curtain to the past

i drank up the words, consuming page after page, reminiscing in night air and dried tears

dropping the book 

lying on the floor, open to illegible ink stains and unforgettable memories 

scenes playing out in front of me as i leaned up against the wall with the wind blowing the pages past breaking points and nights by your side

and dear, your still lying on the couch with closed eyes

naive

unaware

dreaming of light dancing on ocean waves that drown out any memory of me

darling, when you wake up; your shoes are by the door, your keys are in the ignition, 50 dollars in the console and a map to your dreams inside the book on the passenger seat

and tho its hard to read, i know you'll remember my painting and realize just where it leads

don't forget the hazel eyes that linger in the mountains, i hope i always meet your gaze staring out at sea

meet me in the constellations, love, i'll see you in my dreams 

~JQP

∆

i wish you were only a dream

so i could wake up and forget you as soon as i'd remembered your existence

why, oh why, did you have to be a nightmare?

~JQP

Bruises and Paper Cuts

I put on my make up this morning as if to promise myself I wouldn't cry

I should've left the mascara on the counter

Red nails and impulsive memories are cards laid out on the table
And you still have a smile on your face

Playing a game of hide and seek until I realized you'd never find me
I doubt you were even trying
I wish I could believe that you were trying

French tips and dyed hair
Your heart has been tied up and toyed with, erasing beats of passion or care for anything but her

Boy I know you remember my name
But I doubt you remember my mind

My words are dancing circles around your naive promises and I don't want to dance anymore

There's no need to try and keep your word; your sentences have only ever formed with faulty locks and too many keys
I'm done pretending

Your name is surrounded in "what if"s and "maybe"s and my heart it's tired of hopeless day dreams

I haven't seen you
I haven't forgotten you
But I'm losing you

No matter how hard I try to change time's hand
No matter the distance I close between you and I
No matter how many times you promise me you want me too..

I can't hold onto nothing
And I promise
You'll be just fine without me

There are bruises in my chest and paper cuts in my stomach

I should've known that racing hearts and butterflies would lie about reality

~JQP

Overplayed

The tune plays the same 4 notes and it's on repeat
Ink stained words, bouncing off sideways glances and closed doors
And I'm sorry, but this song is getting old

They'll never care
You're always in the background
Your name means nothing
You're alone

She doesn't care
I sing off key
He won't even learn my name
I'm alone

He stopped caring
I have nothing to be proud of
What's there to remember
I'm all alone

I don't want to hear the verses, and the bridge will probably bring me to my knees
But can't you see me?

There's no help for the ignored
And my reaching out has turned to whispers in my own ear

Dear, they'll never hear you
Dear, they forgot they needed to listen
Dear, you're on your own this time

My problems have morphed into songs on repeat and you zoned out after the first chorus

My ears are aching with the broken bass line and my heart has synced with the beat up guitar

And maybe your hearing my anxious cries but this song is overplayed and I know your about to change the station

 ~JQP

my dearest future

dear you,

i was never too good at speaking my mind and the only part of my heart that spills ink on these pages drips with riddles and rhymes, but i know you don't mind. i don't know if we've met or that we'll meet any time soon, but i've realized you're always on my mind, and i just wanted to say a few things

thank you for making me believe in love again..i know i hoped for it, and i've been promised it..i guess i just never thought it could be so amazing..so thank you for that.

maybe we haven't done some of these things, but bare with me as i rant about my teenage dreams of love. tell me if i'm wrong--

love is the first time i held your hand because you weren't sure if i wanted to
and to be frank, neither was i
love is the question game for days on end and comfortable silences in your arms
love is the 3rd date because the third one really held the charm
love is the awkward hug before our first kiss and how it was more than they ever let on
love is the phone call at 2 AM and a sleepy "hello", but a "hello" nonetheless
love is laughing about the family memories and true laughs that turned to sore abs
love is sharing your testimony with me and realizing that you loved god more than you could ever love anyone else
love is the rain in the middle of the summer that covered my tears and your arms that cleared away the sobs
love is the starlit picnics and falling asleep on your chest
love is throwing handfuls of grass at each other because you brought up that stupid moment when
love is dance parties and flour fights and running through the sprinklers
love is our tree house dreams and childhood blankets
love is the day you asked my daddy for my hand
love is the kiss on my lips that covered up my endless yes's 
love is the night i knew it really was you
love is the day we changed forever to eternity
love is the first year changing to the second and the bills we never thought we'd be able to pay
love is our first house and the student loans that still need to be paid
love is the stress and love that somehow turned days to nights
love is us always turning to god because we both know we aren't strong enough without him
love is the day we decided to start a family
love is the night we held gods child in our arms
love is raising the most beautiful humans as children of god
love is the first lost job and the first move and knowing it would all be alright
love is the first day of school and the first crayon drawing
love is the first teenage "i hate you" and the last graduating "thank you"
love is the first one off to college and mission papers
love is the last one married and the 'empty nesters' parties
love is the first grey hairs and the wrinkles on our faces
love is the rocking chair and the deck and the first grandbaby on my lap
love is family reunions with our stories of the glory days
love is our couples mission and the love we felt from god
love is you holding my hand and kneeling by my side as we pray, kiss goodnight, and hold each other no matter the days contents
love is seeing happiness in rest and not worrying about the end because i know i have eternity with you.

love is whenever i'm with you. and i know you feel the same. and darling, i'm forever grateful i found you, because you know my weaknesses and you know how to push my buttons, but you always know how to make me laugh and you'll never betray my love.

thank you for holding my hand and keeping me safe. and dear i know you're laughing at me now, but you have no idea how much i love you. i'll never let you go as long as i live. i promise you my devotion and i know you and i will be okay. 

you are always and forever the smile on my face

forever yours-

Mrs. _______

~JQP